Way Back Home

When everything seems obvious and ya still do not want to perceive it.
Ya know what the limits are but still feel like crossing them. Ya understand everything but still do not want to realize. When ya see the entire world at ease but not yourself. While ya make that person sad, who means more then anything in ur life.
The same moment …and I was distressed…...

I never wanted to return home. It was very painful. I just did not want to coz it was too unfair. I did not want to be alone….i tried to conceal my self in the crowd of people…I could not. It was too loud inside and I tried to get my mind hooked on to something. Tried to stop it from thinking what it was thinking. Counter... what is the time for any movie beginning next? “War of the worlds” Ok... one ticket please… and there I was. In the middle of so many people with popcorns and a large drink that I wasn’t even keen at. Ten seats on my each side were all empty and I was sitting there at the rearmost row in fully reclined position. How peaceful was that dimness of the place …no body could see me, neither could I but I was satisfied…I wasn’t alone. Movie begins…

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz here is my mobile. Must be my sister asking me why am not scrubbing the house clean (as she needs to pay me her super nanny visit)... No. it was not her. I was frozen. It wasn’t she. It was what I tried to run away from. It was why I was there. It was why I wasn’t home. It was why I did not want to return home. Did I press that answer button? Yes I did and there is that voice that always brings with itself all the serenity. That makes me feel am there to hold ya to not let ya collapse.

i was crying. I could see people staring at me but nothing mattered, but the voice in my ear.

Come home; Come back to me; I am waiting!

I tried to say something but my voice sank in my own sobbing. I tried to say
I …… but again the desperateness on the other side made me restless and ……… …..I was on my way back home.